I want some advice from you. I went to HEART and graduated, but I didn’t get the job I wanted; however, I am working.
I am 23. I have a man who is almost 52. He is not working at the moment, but when I met him, he was.
I have a four-year-old with him. But he has five other children with different women, and it was when I was pregnant with my daughter that I knew he had so many children.
I knew about three at first.
He used to have good sex with me, but since I had my child, I don’t feel that good sex anymore.
I am working, but it has been a burden on me because I have to find food and pay my bills and my child’s school fee each term, which is $15,000.
Babyfather always borrowing
My babyfather always wants to borrow money from me to gamble and when I am ready for it, he can’t pay me back.
I have to borrow it from another source. When I try to save money, sometimes I have to go back to my savings and use it.
I always tell him to seek a job. He said it was because of me and the baby why he was not in a job, because I am working late at nights sometimes and we don’t have anyone to pick her up.
I met three male friends and all three of them can sex well, but most of all, I only like one. I have to have sex with them to try and sort out myself because when I get my pay, I have too many expenses.
So whenever I come in from work or any time, my babyfather asks me if I have money and I reply, “I have $1,000 which I borrowed from a friend, but I have to pay it back.”
Sometime when I do have sex with these guys, I go home with $12,000.
All the men use condoms, and I am on the Pill, so I think I am OK, but sometimes my babyfather says that I am having sex with a man outside because I am not giving him any sex.
But I can’t ‘feel him’ when we do. I don’t have the time and energy to take him to court for child support. Am I a bad person?
Give me your advice.
On my radio show, men say that some women have a man to pay their rent, another to buy grocery, another to pay electricity, and so on.
Often I say to the men, “Don’t bash the women”, and the men insist that they are talking the truth. It is reality.
Now here you are telling me that you are living with this man who is by far your senior. He is not working, but you are having sex with three different men and each gives you money to pay your bills.
Then you say that your babyfather is suspicious of you. You are not having sexual intercourse with him often these days.
He believes you have another man. You are trying to fool him by saying that you are tired and that you are not feeling him (whatever that means).
I am going to be frank with you; I read your letter about four times and as I read it, I felt very sorry for you.
You asked me if I believed that you were a bad girl. I don’t want to answer that question. Figure that out yourself.
Putting your life in danger
But what I want to say to you is that you should stop having sex with these guys. You are putting your life in danger.
I know you are going to wonder how you would live and support yourself. You would have to put pressure on your child’s father to get a job.
And in the meantime, you should try and get a better job so that you would not have to augment your salary by prostituting yourself.
I am not condemning you. God forbid that I should do so. But it is not wise for a girl to be selling herself to support her child while her man is at home.
So, make some more applications for a better job. Pray and ask God to deliver you from your predicament and set you free.