I am currently living with a man who I am having bedroom issues with, and I don’t want to cheat on him. He is 47 and I am 23.

He is a very loving and caring man who attends to all my other needs perfectly. As we all know, all relationships come with problems.

Since 2018, I have been having issues with his babymother, who won’t leave me alone because she thinks I am the reason he moved out and is separated from her, which is a lie.

He was once married, but he left her. His oldest son wants to put them back together and I had to put him out. I told them if they continue to bother me I would leave him.

Our main problem is him keeping up in the bedroom. Sometimes during sexual intercourse his manhood fails him or it fails him before he starts, and this is becoming a habitual thing.

I love him and I know he loves me, but I can’t accept this. We spoke about the problem and he went to the doctor and for a period of time he was doing well, then it started again.


His excuse is that he is worried about certain things, like his bills, taking care of me, his children, and how they are coping.

I am in a good job, but he has not been working since March, so the expenses are all on me. But I don’t think that should affect his performance. So please, I am asking what I should do?

I love him and look towards having a future with him because he has proven his love countless times to me and I can’t go a day without him, so I want this issue to be solved.


Dear H.B.,

Let us reason this thing for a moment or two. You say that you are 23 and the man is 47; that means you are 24 years younger.

This man is under stress, he has taken up what he cannot manage. He has tried to explain that to you, but you don’t believe him. But I believe that what he told you is the truth.

He is trying his best to satisfy you sexually but you want more, and he is fretting that because he cannot satisfy you, you may cheat on him.

Now that he is not working, he believes that too much pressure is on you to pay all the bills, and he does not feel that he is a real man.

You are trying to say that he should not fret at all because all you want is a bully in the bedroom and as long as you have that, you would be satisfied.

You don’t even believe when he tries to explain that he is under stress. You say this man has been to the doctor and what the doctor told him to do worked for a period of time.

I therefore suggest that you encourage him to go back to the doctor and that you accompany him, so that you would have a better understanding what is happening to your man.

This is not just a case where this man cannot have a good erection; he is also dealing with psychological issues, and those issues have to be resolved.

You say you want the both of you to have a future together, so this man may need to see a sex therapist, and you would have to be involved.

So please, understand that you can’t be selfish. If you are looking for a ‘bedroom bully’, you are with the wrong man.

But if you love this man and want to stay with him, you will have to work with him and stay with him all the way.



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