I can’t sleep, something is bothering me, so I have decided to write to you about it. I have been married for less than a year.

But I have done something very bad. My husband is off the island. I have got myself mixed up with a man who used to be my boyfriend.

He was my sister’s boyfriend. But he caught her kissing another man and he spoke to me about it.

I told him that he should try and make up with her because it was just a kiss. But he said that it was not the first time she had cheated, because he knew that she had sex with another man and he forgave her.

He and I became very close. He was a travelling officer and I was not working, so sometimes I would go with him to the country.

Since I got married, I went with him to the country and we had car problems. It was late, so we decided to stay in a hotel in Ochi Rios.

I told him I could not sleep with him and he said that was OK. But about 2 a.m., he called my number and asked me if he could come to my room and I said no. He said he couldn’t sleep.

I called him back about an hour after and he said he still couldn’t sleep, so I told him to come over.

We were there lying on the bed talking, then we started to play and eventually we had sex. While we were having sex, my husband called me.

He kept calling and I finally answered. He asked me why I was not at home and I lied that I was.

He said I wasn’t home. I thought somebody had told him that I was not at home. So, I asked him who told him that.

He didn’t answer, he only kept pressing me to tell him where I was. I told him that I was out of town, but with a girlfriend.

While I was talking to my husband, this man fell asleep and started to snore and my husband asked who was snoring.

I cut the call and woke up the man and told him to go quickly to his room. I called back my husband and asked him why he cut the call and he said he didn’t.

I said something was wrong because the call was disconnected. My husband said that was strange.

What I have done is bothering me so much. My husband said if I was doing anything wrong, he will find out. Since I had sex with this man, he has literally been harassing me for more.

I don’t know how to face my husband when he gets here for the Easter. I am waiting on my papers to join him. I don’t know what to do, Pastor.

I cannot admit to him that I cheated. This man gave me a television and $20,000 out of his bonus. I love him. How can I get out of this mess?


Dear N.J.,

I don’t want to excuse you for what you have done. You are old enough to know when a man is trying his best to become intimate with you.

You are unemployed and you accompanied him to many places. What happened to his car can happen to anybody.

He lied to you when he told you that both of you could sleep in different rooms and that nothing would happen. He has always wanted to get under your skirt.

The mistake you made was to call this man back to find out whether everything was OK with him after he told you he could not sleep. Why did you invite him to your room?

That is going to torment your mind for a very long time. Your husband is not a fool.

He couldn’t prove to you that night that another man was having sex with you, but he knew something was wrong.

Perhaps you could only hope that he won’t raise it again.

You should stop taking money from this man. Perhaps you should even give him back the television and the money and break off the relationship totally.

If you want to be faithful to your man, you should accept my suggestion and do what is right.



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