I am writing this letter with tears in my eyes. I never thought I would be crying over a woman, but I have found out that my girlfriend of four years is cheating on me.

A year and a half ago I left home to go to the country. I was involved in an accident. It took very long to be sorted out so my friends and I decided that we should forget the country trip and head back to Kingston. My girlfriend did not expect me to come back. I did not call her to tell her that I would be doing so but when I got home, I saw her ex-boyfriend in my house and he only had on his underpants. My girlfriend only had on a nightie. I knew that they had sex because the room had a smell and my girlfriend ‘turned fool’. I asked my girlfriend what he was doing there and she said he was only visiting. Pastor, this woman has no reason at all to cheat on me because I take good care of her. I took her with one child and I have been sending this child to school, but I did not know that she was still seeing her ex-lover.

This man went and got married to another woman and she was always telling me that I was the best thing she ever had. Now I know she was lying. I trusted her. I have never gone into her phone but I am crying because I finally got her to admit that she and the man had sex, and she said she is sorry about it. It is better she hadn’t told me because now that I know for sure that they had sex, my mind has changed from her. I don’t want her but I love the little girl that I am sending to school. She is a bright girl but this is a new year and I want my life to be better.

Why is it that women are cheating so much on men? Perhaps if I did not return home that night, that man would have slept in my house. It is hard to take, Pastor, especially when a man is paying all the bills. Please for your advice.

Initials withheld

Dear writer,

I do not believe that you are a fool. You know that this woman was lying to you. You almost caught her having sex with her ex-boyfriend. It is time, therefore, to let her go.

Don’t go further in this relationship and don’t allow the goodness of your heart in helping her daughter cause you to remain in the relationship. This woman should not be trusted. She is not the type of woman that should make you cry over her. You should be glad that something happened that caused you to return home. It caused you to see that you have an unfaithful partner in your house. The man who is supposed to be her ex is the ‘bunna man’ and if you keep this woman, he might continue to be the ‘bunna man’, so throw her out. And, if you are able, continue to assist the little girl.



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