We are relational beings and even if we enjoy our own company, there comes a time when we need to be in the company of others. When we value our relationships, we take all the necessary steps to make them work. However, there are times when our own doubts, fears, and insecurities become our biggest enemies. How is that possible? Here are 7 things that may hinder you from building lasting relationships:
1. Past Childhood Trauma
Nothing holds you back more than focusing on the things of the past. That includes both the positive and negative. Past successes can become the enemy to future achievements if you continue to focus on them. Likewise, if you haven’t released the pain from childhood traumas it can become a hindrance to creating healthy, lasting relationships..
2. You’re Overly Critical
We establish certain criteria for our relationships based on our core values. You use these to analyze your partner’s every move, word and attitude for anything that contravenes your ideals. We’re all broken and striving for wholeness in one way or another, so holding someone to our unrealistic expectations is a sure shot way to sabotage a relationship before it even begins. Could it be that you are trying to find in them what you feel is missing within yourself?
If so, start with self. Self-love is the key here. When you love yourself, you may find their perceived faults to be charming, distinguishing characteristics.
3. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
High standards are good because it gives us something to work toward. When you value yourself, it gives you the confidence to take responsibility for your life, face the ups and downs and make the right choices. However, if your expectations are unattainable or unrealistic you will never find a relationship that works for you.
The residual sting from past relationships is holding you hostage. You make excuses as to why the relationship isn’t right or isn’t working for you. You worry that you will lose your identity by being in the relationship. Let go of the fears, step out in faith and learn to trust again.
5. Lack of Confidence
Low self-esteem can cause us to make bad decisions. You may pursue someone who is unavailable because you feel unworthy of someone better suited for you.
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” (1) You are worthy of the best.
6. The Thought Of Finding The Right Person Frightens You
You may be afraid that you will find the right person, but you’re not enough for them. Many people self-sabotage or let self-doubt stop them from finding true happiness before they even start. You are more than enough!
7. You May Be Stuck In A Negative Cycle
Does it seem like you are having the same relationship repeatedly? You’re dating a different guy but getting the same results as the previous ones. This is a sign that you haven’t learned from past mistakes and may need to do some inner work before embarking on your next relationship.